Drive, Right By Me

If you cry and drive,

You're a fucking foolish idiot.

The Light

• Lonely night movies guiltlessly
• An Education
• New Moon
• The Picture of Dorian Gray
• Anna Karenina
• John Mayer's new album
• Queenscliff Bed&Breakfast
• Brunches
• Sleeping in til 12pm!
• Torquay the second
• Science works
• Sleepovers
• Op-shopping
• Wearing lilac spring dresses
• Photoshooting
• Lying in gardens around Melbourne
• ASIA!!!!
• The Time Traveler's Wife
• Garden State
• Clubbing
• My girls
• The boy
• Camberwell market
• Swimming
• Making invitations
• Winery
• Naps
• Coffee detox
• Watching the 6pm news
• Home cooked meals
• Nice restaurants
• Watching the sunset, from anywhere but Franktate
• Guiltless happiness

Frankie's Girls

This is my last weekend at Frankie, ever, hopefully. PRAYING it is.

Frank Tate has been my second home since I've been here every day for the last two weeks at least. But I think i've slept in Louise's bed more than my own over this swotvac week.

It's 8am on a Sunday morning and all the good seats are taken. Despite it being quite ridiculously annoying, nerds congregating in academic study is so motivational and heart warming!

I've been studying with two girls who coordinate holding of forts, by which i mean tables at frankie. It's highly advanced strategic territorial maneuvers that outdoes any trench warfare defense. These beautiful souls have found comfort in frankie after unfortunate events in their lives, namely, but not limited solely to, stupid boys. Three girls with three different paths that led them to the warm chair, clean benches, abundance power outlet supply that is Frank Tate.

One due to her residual inability to study at home due to events past. Two because of distractions in her mind that is unrequited friends. Three due to arsehole, he's-just-not-that-into-her boyfriends that give one worded answers, zero (literally silence) conversations on restaurant dates, and yet still wants her to pick him up after after-work drinks and drive him home, to the other side of town, whom she is going to buy $450 glasses as surprise present for passing of CA exams. Why are girls so giving and some boys so shit?!

We are able to motivate each other to wake up early, shotgun a good table and save seat by pretending to spread out random books, laptops and scarves feigning three separate individuals. We alternately go on breakfast runs, food runs, coffee runs, honey-soy chip runs, and everyone generously shouts here and there. We play games like spot the korean couple, and shotgun which item of their possession you would steal if you didn't have a conscience. I get negatively reinforced with a slap when i buy my second, third coffee of the day. She gets negatively reinforced when she sits there waiting for his message or for a miracle to work into their relationship. The reason they call it a miracle darlin' is because it does NOT happen!

I love this place, I love the people here. I've met some lovely youngens, participated in the noisy Dental corner (it's like backseat of the bus cool corner) and had surprise visits and pop-in study buddies through out the week. I've taken my brother here and hopefully he falls in love with Melbourne Uni and actually studies and makes it in. This place puts me in high spirits despite the endless blackhole that is exam time.

And I will be SO glad to walk out those automatic double doors for the last time.

You Make My Dreams Come True

*GRINS*

My dream came true when the charming barrista at Deep Dish / Brooklyn Project knew my "(medium) latte with two sugars" order without me asking. I am officially a REGULAR! Hellayeah!

Although I must concede, Lucas also knew my order, given coffeebuddy status, when he was barrista. But he doesn't count.

*GRINS*

You Make My Dreams Come True - Hall & Oats

This song makes me want to dance down the street like it's the morning after. 

Happy Ending

Wednesday SWOTVAC, one year on from Obama's election win, South Lawn lights are a little clearer.

So much has changed, yet I still feel (true to) me, but stronger. A little too strong, too invincible that jumping head first, whole-heartedly, no hands, no longer phases me.

My temporaristic mentality safety net of enjoy the ride surprisingly juxtaposes his a hundred years ahead, a thousand miles over, seas a million dollar apart ments.

There's no darkness, here. No stark cold fear.
Just light hearted shrugs, hugs
Wildly free, and easy.

"No hope, no love, no glory, no happy ending"

I'd Like A Flat White, And A Real Kiss

Twentynine/ Dunno if i'm allowed to have a "crush" on a couple, but there's the cutest korean couple at frankie. As he studies, she falls asleep in his lap, forcing him to awkardly crouch over sleeping beauty to reach his books, mac and table. He does this for some two hours. When she wakes up, she tells him off, in cutely aggressive korean, then proceeds to draw stars on his arm. Despite all her harassment, he's still got an arm around her as he reads his notes.

I've noticed them because they frequently, more like all the time, leave unattended ipods, apple macs and iphones. Their material possessive apathy (is there a single word for that?) really amazes me. I have my eye on his vintage side bag. hrm.

If they still have all their possessions by the end of the exam period, then it's a testament to the trustworthiness of frankie-goers. Or they're rich enough to replace them.

Neopolitan Dreams

Warm days, by open window, books closed, floating on the ethereal notes of Lisa Mitchell's "Love Letter"

You're bleeding sunshine, love
Into my blizzard life
Embers dance in open palms
Turning darkness into white right

You're whispering whiteness, here
Through an afternoon thick air
Casting trails of glitter gold, brushes
Combing shoulders wrists lips hair

I draw to you like light
With shades of HB greys
I'm seizing your warmth, breathing your form
Sighing smoke, rings, a haze

You're cascading into the very
Corners of my limbs
You're honey state and violent sweet
Hung moments on a puppet strings

omg these stanza's are so crap,

this is what happens when you just keep rhyming randomly

I'm cast into shadows, dear

Breathing your weighted glow,

It fills me and floods me

Intoxicates and drugs me.

My heart is blistering, fear

At every curious game

Intangible dance of locks and keys

And tangents off your philosophies

I'm clay immersed in kilns

Like glass blown patterns,

Fired to melting point

I'm crumbling and helpless joints

By flutter of unattenuated notes

Floating through open panes

We're metal weld sparks,

Of unbridled hearts.

I miss your reflections
Your sighs and inflections
I miss your constance from dawn to night
But most of all I miss your light.

I Heart Melbourne University

6 years as a Melbourne University student tinges the last day of your Bachelor degree with unmistakable sadness and nostalgia. Especially if you're a sentimental fool.

I fell in love with Melbourne University when I studied MUPHAS Psychology. I loved the old architecture of the Arts quadrangle, the pens at Bullwinkles, the fact that there's a coffee stall at every other turn, and the comfortable independence of students sitting by themselves under trees on South lawn. Oh and thee Psych Boy. I was in so much wide-eyed wonder. I felt like I belonged?

Due to such sentimental love, every single preference on my year twelve list was at Melbourne University. It had me hook line and sinker.

Melbourne Uni never failed to disappoint, except when Bullwinkles moved and didn't tell me! But now I love Frank Tate.

I fell in crush and broke my heart, on the same bench, five years on. 

Only at Melbourne Uni! 

Derelict and abandoned Dental Hospital, this is where it all began in 2005. 

The hallowed corridors of the Medical Building, above which cadaver juice leaked

I heart Melbourne Uni.

I promise to come back and finish off an arts degree. Pinky promise.

Over The Analysing, Tonight

I like to find reasons for things. It's a INFJ strive-for-order-in-a-mess-of-a-mind thing. Which means I need to find the reasons for why people tick the way they tick, do the things they do, feel the things they feel, don't say the things they do, change the way they change, do the things they shouldn't, don't do the things they can etc.

The thing about emotions is that it's often unexplainable, and i must concede analytical defeat. I am always open to the acceptance that the explanation is that there's no explanation. Like the label idiopathic diseases, for ordering and classification's sake.

So sometimes things just are the way they are. *repeat*

Sundrenched World

Joshua sigh Radin. siiggggghh!

After a lovely sun-drenched day of lonely country side drives half way to Shepparton, semi-job offers, golden hour drives to dine with mister fine dining himself, I was finally front and centre, precariously positioned behind two shoulder to shoulder tall guys, one row away from thee man of the moment.

Joshua Radin had me utterly spellbound in emotions upon emotions. Due to unforseen sickness causing pain on singing of high notes, he had to reinvent his entire set list on the fly. Despite having a 4 piece band, he did most of his songs acoustic, which is just the way i like it.

Sigh.

Joshua Radin was the most moving gig i've ever been to. He didn't hold back any emotions, thinking he had to give something extra to this sold-out crowd due to his lack of vocal performance. But his sick voice was still amazingly beautiful, more fragile, adding to the emotion, so touching, and repetitively heart-breaking. He sang and spoke and sighed about true love, heart break, lonely hearts club and gift registries, re-discovering yourself in singledom, and glimmers of hope. Cos there's always hope.

The best thing about this gig was that he would stall each song with LONG pre-rambles to warm up his voice. Since I love the meaning behind the lyrics, it was very fine by me! Every song was a personal experience, and I love drawing art from life. Even the sad stuff. No, especially the heart-aching sad stuff! His voice broke during songs, he sang an octave lower courtesy of capo slide, but it was still entracing. He recited unfinished lyrics in prose, because he has yet to write the melody, about the best conversation during a one night stand. He drank whisky on ice and was high on cortisone, but he really gave us everything he had. There were moments of honest exhaustion after some songs. I just felt for him, and appreciated him so much. He could've just cancelled, right?

"I've had two girlfriends, that's why I have two records"

I've had two and a half boyfriends, no records, but poems inspired by each. Joshua Radin makes it ok and beautiful to make art from your emotions. He says he's anti-religion, and as corny as it sounds, his religion is "love" which as a hopeless romantic (and regular Catholic) I would accept. I've been feeling like I shouldn't express myself through mediums of art because it's so heart-on-sleeve vulnerable, allowing people to judge, because noone gives positive feedback except Louise. But Joshua Radin has inspired me to continue with what feels right when it comes to emotions and art.

The songs that made me sigh, swoon, hope, cry and smile were respectively:

1) What If You

Explained as his one-night-stand song; without knowing, I one hundred percently agreed. Inspired by a stranger in Europe with whom he had the most philosophical theological and quite simply one of the best conversations. This may or may not have been the same person who inspired the poetic prose recital that blew me away.

2) Sky

About a recurring nightmare at the end of a relationship, spurred by nightly fights and having to sleep off tears. Named after his only love, which he willingly admitted. Sigh. Gives you hope that there are guys out there so honestly sweet.

3) You've Got Growing Up To Do

This was his "hopeful break-up song" which is always a stage during breakups. Too many times do you hear "right person, wrong timing" but if it's right person, it should be eternally the right person, right? Who knows!

4) I'd Rather Be With You

Our song was described as a "happy little love song." For me this song is surrounded by a warm glare of vintage afternoon light, perhaps due to the Zac Braff's video clip, perhaps not. I actually first heard this song on home&away, but it's so much more than that. Guess this song is the moment when everything as we know it changes, even if you didn't wanted it to. Got abit emotional, and I think Josh saw that. woops!

Amazing experience to be at this gig.

It's been a good one...